Reflections on a year in the life of...

It is almost a year now that I have been privileged to be part of the mentoring scheme at, what was a short while ago the University of Wales, Newport and is now the University of South Wales. It is amazing to think about the changes that happen over a period of 12 short months. For a start, a year ago I was coming to the end of an Access to Higher Education Diploma, and looked something like this...

and now... 


well... 

I'm nearly at the end of my first year in a BA (Hons) History degree and look like this... 

The whole point of setting up this blog as a Student Mentor, was to enable us to be able to reflect back on how we have grown and developed as an individual over our time at university. Not only am I a Mentor, but I am a (mature) history student, a course rep, a student member of the re-validation panel, a mum, a wife, an employee, a friend, but more importantly, I am me. I am Claire. I'm sure I've said this in a previous blog, but that is because it's true and it is relevant. 

This past year (two in fact) I have really developed as a person, and I think an element of this is reflected in my blogs. I've worked hard to give 100% to all my roles and responsibilities. I would be lying if I said I had achieved that goal, but the fact is I made the effort. The whole point of me leaving a well paid job a few years ago, was to improve my future prospects. My retirement age will probably be 67+, and I doubt my sons will leave home as early as I did, so I need to ensure I do my utmost to secure my family's future. No one can do this for me, so I need to work damn hard at it myself. Be self reliant!

Although I had the confidence to apply for a diploma and then a degree, I still felt that there was more I could be doing. I wanted to get the most out of my time at university. Becoming a Student Mentor and gaining all the confidence from it that I have, has been like taking in a huge deep breath of air after being submerged under water for too long. Becoming a mentor provided the injection of confidence that I needed. 

I have developed greater communication skills over the last year as a mentor, and I have volunteered for opportunities that I would never have dreamed of doing when I first started the Access course in 2011. I thought I was an open and broad minded person before, but even those boundaries have been pushed even further.  I have met some truly amazing and inspirational people too.

Here I get to the end of the year and the Student Experience Awards 2013 (and the bit where I have blatantly stolen someones photos from FaceBook!). What a night, and what a perfect conclusion to an amazing year.  Last Friday (3rd May 2013) the second student led experience and teaching awards took place. Students had been voting over the preceding weeks for the staff at USW Newport and Caerleon campuses (over 500 nominations) who had made a great impact on their lives. The dinner was held in the main hall at Caerleon and was one of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had. What was extra special was the fact that it was students who had voted for staff and other students, e.g. Mentors, PASS Leaders, NightLine volunteers, etc. 

Some lovely Student Mentors! (pinched from FB)

I can't possibly name all those that won awards (mainly because there are too many to mention and the wine flowed too freely!), but ALL were truly deserving, like Liam, Sam and Sarah (other award winners are available!)

Some of the winners were:- 
Art of Teaching 
- Winner: Kathy Evans (FESS) 
- Highly Commended: Philip Cowan (FAB) 

Unsung Hero 
- Winner: Rhodri Roberts
- Highly Commended: Pavla Bloor (FESS) 

Extra Mile 
- Winner: Sue Peters (FESS) 
- Highly Commended: Rebecca Wilson (Student Services) 

Awesome Team 
- Winner: History 
- Highly Commended: Disability

And now for the sad bit...

Life, business, politics, anything, has a natural progression, in plainest terms, a beginning, a middle and an end. At the moment, my university is going through a transitional phase. What once was the University of Wales, Newport, following a merger with the University of Glamorgan, is now the University of South Wales. 

Whilst this brings forward new opportunities to higher education in South Wales in general, it also means an end to some established relationships, and here I become selfish. There are two people this year that have made a positive and formative impact on my life, one of those being Dr Nick Carter, Head of History at Newport and Kerry Bellamy Student Advice & Mentor Manager at Newport. 

Nick being an amazing lecturer at the Colosseum Feb 2013. 

Nick is off to sunnier shores and will shortly be seen in a lecture hall in the University of New South Wales!! Can't blame him really. Nick has been a great influence and guide during the first year of my degree course and he will be seriously missed by all of us studying history at Caerleon campus. I really really do not want him to go, I want him to see me through to my dissertation (my selfish bit). I'm sure the relatively damp climate of South Wales can't be that bad when compared to Australia! Ho hum.

The next amazing, inspirational, caring, motivating, stimulating, remarkable, all round awesome person that will be making their exit from life at USW is Kerry Bellamy. I don't know where to begin here, to be honest I think I may just go and quietly shed a tear. KERRY is leaving! This was honestly an earth shattering email to receive today. But to be honest, I'm really really happy for her. She's off on a new adventure, starting a brand new business. Go for it Ker! 

Kerry, a rose between two... ah!? No offence ladies ;)
 (another pic pinched from FB)

So that is a very brief reflective synopsis of my first eventful year as a Student Mentor. I really hope that with Kerry leaving, we will carry on and do justice to all her (and our) hard work with the mentoring scheme. 

Looking back over my blogs I can see how nervous I was in the beginning, at everything. But I can honestly say, the moment I walked in to that room of brand new mentors, all on my own, not knowing any of them, was one of the best moments (and decisions) of my life! Thank you for the opportunity Kerry and UWN (ok, ok USW!). 

I think I'll just post a few more mentor type pictures now.

Me, Beth and Ash during enrollment 2012.
(FB)

Student Mentors at Newport are amazing!

More amazing Mentor types. Enrollment 2012 :)
(FB)

Here's to the future... can't wait!

Mentors in Rome! Planning my Future, Respecting Dark Heritage!

Bethany, Zoey, Jodie and Me!

Ok, so the intention was that my fellow mentors Bethany and Jodie and I would do a Mentor vlog whilst we were out in Rome at the end of February/beginning of March... I should add here that this was with the BA (Hons) History group at UWN and not the Mentors (although I think it would be an amazing team building trip... hint hint Kerry!); however, although there is plenty of video footage, none of it is appropriate and mainly involves 'down time' revelry!
Not much opportunity for mentoring activities here, unless you consider mentoring to be trying to keep track of students that had a penchant for wandering off or not keeping up with the tutors (naming no names).

However, what Rome did do for me personally was to focus my attention on what I wanted my future degree/life path to include. We did all the usual sites which groaned under the weight of tourist footfall, and I really appreciated going to these places with two amazing tutors (Dr. Nick Carter and Professor Ray Howell) because I learned so much more than if I had just gone there as a tourist. What struck me most was our 'dark heritage' day; this truly moving day started with a journey to Via Rasella, to a place where Partisans had launched a surprise attack on a group of marching Nazis. Evidence of Nazi gun fire can still be seen today. 

Following this we went to the Historical Museum of Liberation; a location which, during the German occupation of Rome, had been the headquarters of 'the German terror apparatus'. This building included a prison in which political and Jewish prisoners were interrogated and tortured. It has been a museum since 1957.

If I thought this museum had made an ever-lasting impression upon my life, then I was in for a shock. What came next I will never (and I never want to) forget for the rest of my life!

Our group took a bus journey to Fosse Ardeatine Memorial. Here, a mass execution took place of 335 men on 24th March 1944, rounded up by the German occupation forces in retaliation to the Partisan attack in the previous day at Via Rassella. 

'195 of the 335 victims were prisoners of the security service, 55 were political prisoners from Italian prisons, 75 were selected for execution due to their Jewish background. 10 men had been randomly arrested on the street.

322 of those shot could later be identified. The oldest victim was 74, the youngest was 15 years old. They were of all social classes and pursued various professions. None of them had participated in preparing the Via Rasella bomb attack; only few of them were communists.'

Our group walked around in virtual silence, I felt the need to be on my own. 

The execution was carried out in a disused quarry which was subsequently blown up and sealed. After the discovery of the bodies, it was agreed that the men should remain buried there. A mausoleum containing the sarcophagi of each victim is present on site. 

I couldn't contain my sorrow (along with many of my group); there were several instances of male members of same family groups present, grandfathers, sons and grandsons, children as young as 15 and young men the same age as my son, 19.

This visit reinforced what was important to me in life... family, continuity, remembrance and education to name but a few. I have decided my path in life will include research into my grandmother-in-law's experience as a  Polish political prisoner of war. This will be the focus of my dissertation and hopefully additional subsequent post graduate research. I am fully aware that this blog post does not fully capture my experience on this day, whatever I write here will not be enough.

It's amazing that a trip which I initially considered to be a bit of a jolly, had enough effect to change my whole life.

*Images of Fosse Ardeatine are not my own and have been obtained from internet sources.

Adult Self Injury Awareness

At the end of February I attended a Self Harm Awareness Course run by two dynamic ladies, Katie and Nicki from Cardiff Adult Self-Injury Project (CASIP). A group which was conceived from the realisation that there were no services in the South Wales area to support people over the age of 18 who self-injure; the popular misconception being that self-harm only affects young adolescents. Attendees of the course mainly appeared to be made up of Student Mentors and various Student Services staff.

I had a personal interest in this course; twenty(ish) years ago I used to self-harm. It lasted for a few years after a couple of awful incidents and when I was feeling out of control with life around me. I needed something to focus on, and hurting myself was the easiest way of doing that. It was a physical manifestation of the pain I was feeling inside. I wanted someone to help me but I couldn't vocalise it. It happened again briefly when I suffered post-natal depression a few years later. I look now and my scars are barely visible (yes the do fade with time!), but when I think about it, I remember how I felt as that young woman the turmoil I was experiencing inside. Then I think about what I'm doing now, and I realise how strong I have become!

Katie and Nicki challenged preconceived ideas about people that self-harm. Many people think that it is a form of attention seeking. Nurses in Accident and Emergency (or even psychiatric) departments consider these individuals to be time wasters and treat the injury as a diagnosis rather than a reflection of the true distress that that person is suffering.
10% of those who self-harm will commit suicide within 10 years.*
We learnt that these individuals, if not dismissed were made to feel ten times worse by being labelled as time wasters, they are simply brushed off as having 'just a personality disorder'! Katie and Nicki informed us that self-harm as a specific psychiatric disorder was under negotiation to be made a category of its own, so that sufferers can receive appropriate treatment instead of being grouped together under the 'personality disorder' umbrella.

So what should one do when made aware of or approached by someone that self-harms? 
DO NOT:
-Panic and remove all sharp objects! This is an often unhelpful reaction of parents.
-Use emotional blackmail! For example, telling them how much they are hurting you by doing what they are doing.
-Accuse them of being attention seeking and brush them off.
DO:
-Consider unhelpful reactions they may have previously received.
-Acknowledge and validate the fact that they have chosen to communicate and TRUST you!
-Respect their choice if/whilst they continue to self-harm.
-Help them to recognise the root cause of their actions. This may involve helping them find an appropriate support group.
-Be honest with them if you feel out your depth and need to refer them to a professional.
-Allow the person to remain in control, ask them what help they want from you.
But most of all, listen!

I read the following somewhere once, I can't remember where though, but it's a motto I have continued to live by:

"I embrace every dreadful event that ever happened to me. They made me me!"

*Butler, J.; Longhitano, C., (2008). Self-Harm. Psychiatric Aspects of General Medicine. 36 (9), pp.455-458

Good Mentor Day

Some people I chat to have many varying challenges in life; family, money, depression, bereavement, culture and on and on...
So it's nice to know once in a while that just by being there and listening to someone can, not only make all the difference to the whole university experience for some, but it can also be just what they need emotionally too.

We all get confidence wobbles sometimes, especially when one feels that there is nothing more that can be done to give someone the support and guidance that they really need.

Today somebody tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around to see a face that I had not seen since the beginning of the autumn term. It was a lady that I had spoken to several times over the summer when I was doing my telephone work, welcoming new students to UWN, finding out if they had any queries and how these could be best resolved etc. Any way, this lady had serious concerns before she started her course. She had concerns whether she could fit uni around her small children, there were cultural and religious issues that were playing on her mind, and basically she lacked confidence. I spent a lot of time in late August / early September, and during her induction week reassuring her that no matter what there was always someone that could offer her support. I put her in touch with a tutor that I felt may empathise with her and offer a greater source of professional support than I. Additionally I didn't sugar coat the university experience she was about to undertake, I told her (and other students) that what she was about to do will be intense and a steep learning curve. I felt that she would benefit more if I was completely honest with her, so I was.

Today, roughly five months after I last spoke to her, she wanted to thank me and let me know that she appreciated the fact that I had been open about the new journey she was about to travel. She did find it hard at times, but because of my openness she had been able to ensure that she had a good support network around her and she was determined not to let her previous concerns stand in her way of achieving her goal.

I left that conversation knowing that I had made a difference to her life, a small one yes,  but nonetheless it was significant enough for her to still want to say thank you to me after all this time. I love being a Student Mentor at UWN!

Today was a good Mentor day!

Volunteering

Periodically (almost daily) a swathe of emails drop into my inbox from one particular person... my Mentor Manager (and all round wise oracle) Kerry. These emails offer up many varying opportunities; training sessions, work opportunities, the chance to make an idiot of yourself in front of a room full of students, etc, etc.
Recently I had realised that I hadn't been grasping at any of these 'opportunities', until I read one email:

Have you worked as a Volunteer?!

.... here’s the call to share your experiences!

The Careers Team do an annual event that highlights the benefits that volunteering has on your CV and for the individual. 

This interested me, and after a quick scan through my memory bank at past experience of volunteering, I thought "I can do this", it was also about time I got off my backside and responded positively to one of Kerry's emails.

So I volunteered to go and put myself in the spotlight (albeit briefly) and have a chat to some students about my experience volunteering as a Management Committee member for Blaenau Gwent Domestic Abuse Services (BGDAS)... It doesn't end there though! Not only did I volunteer myself, but I also managed to volunteer a lovely friend, Jodie. I considered Jodie to be excellent for this opportunity based on her experience volunteering and assisting 16-18 year old young people for Newport's NEET project. She wasn't aware at the time but I kindly broke it to her gently in a text! Have I mentioned that at the time she wasn't even a fully fledged Student Mentor? No? Well she was a brand new member of the scheme, but yet to undergo her Mentor training and nab a snazzy 'Mentor Blue' hoodie. Anyway, in my wisdom I thought it would be beneficial for her to 'hit the ground running' so to speak! Luckily for me she didn't mind and was very glad to have been given this opportunity so early on in her journey as a Mentor at Newport.

 When the day arrived, the two of us joined some more professional speakers;  Lisa Davies from Just Add Spice, which is a

 'social enterprise that develops agency timebanking systems for communities and public services that engage and empower the many rather than the few.' 

and Laurence Hall from The Great Primate Handshake, whos objective is

'The Great Primate Handshake raises awareness of primate sanctuaries and primate conservation programmes through the production of media.'

Both of these great speakers provided some really useful information not only for the students present, but for Jodie and myself also. 

Eventually it was our turn, and although we didn't have snappy PowerPoint presentations to support us, we got through it. Not only did we discuss our chosen topic, but we managed to get a word in for the Student Mentor Scheme also, which after all, if I hadn't volunteered to talk about volunteering then Jodie and I wouldn't have benefited from the experience ourselves. 

Volunteering is good... never be afraid to stick your hand up and say "I will do it!"

  

Spoon Feeding!

This week I have discovered... No matter how much you try to help some people, you may be better off leaving them to their own fate!
If a person can't be bothered to help themselves and just lies to you in return for all the assistance that you have given them (when they have asked for it), it can be a bit soul destroying!

On a more positive note, I'm looking forward to giving a brief presentation to some students next week regarding the benefits of volunteer work.

Snow Day Musings of a Student Mentor

Sitting here, staring out of my kitchen window, blackbirds scrabbling in the snow searching for worms, seeds, bread, whatever they can find in my garden, I realise I haven't blogged in an age! I think its because for a while I felt quite distant from it all... all the mentoring stuff I mean. 

I would see emails or the occasional post on Facebook about events, social gatherings etc and for one reason or another I may not have been able to make it... I was in a lecture, I don't live on campus or even in Newport... or maybe I just wanted to be with my family instead of being out and getting pissed! Excuses or reasons... you decide!

Anyway, this started to make me feel like I wasn't actually doing anything proactive regards my role as a Student Mentor, I even had a breakdown moment where I completely hijacked a meeting about a potential new project and completely out-poured some pretty deep secrets and insecurities (Kerry, I'm forever in your debt)! 
My point is, I was wrong (again). I am proactive as a mentor, I only have to look at my phone or my inbox to see evidence of this. People trust me, they talk to me, they value what I have to say. I'm often pulled to one side for a quiet chat or sent a text or an email minutes after I've just been sat in the same room as that person. I listen, I reassure, I point in the right direction. I never judge, influence or give instructions (at least, I'm not aware that I do) and I never break a confidence. 
This is what I wanted from the mentoring scheme, I wanted to be of use to people, I never wanted to be an in-your-face kind of mentor (despite the current red hair). I don't want to be a nag or there every time you turn a corner, I reach out to people, yes, and I follow up with issues I've been made aware of. I just wanted to there when I was needed and I think I may have achieved that balance. 

Happy snow day everyone :)