Some time earlier in the year, I decided to jump out of my comfort zone and apply for a position as a Student Mentor at UWN. I didn't really know what it meant... probably giving people a hand if they were lost or maybe letting students know what services were available to them at the uni; but hey, it provided an income, as such, and I could work it around my degree.
I was wrong, it's much more than that. I've already written about my first few experiences, about not knowing anyone, feeling nervous and old, but there's something else... I've become Claire again. I lost my way quite a long time ago, I was a Mum, a girlfriend, a wife, a lover, a friend, an employee, a daughter, a sister, a niece, a grand daughter, an aunt and on and on... but I was never just Claire. This past year, and more importantly these past few weeks have made me Claire again.
I have been dragged out from behind my protective wall, I have confidently spoken in front of a room full of people, I have gone up to practical strangers and spoken honestly about my first impressions of them and told them how I see them and they have reciprocated. I have acted on impulse and reacted decisively and positively instead of "hmm, can I get back to you?". I have made a fool of myself and sung drunkenly on karaoke (any of my close friends will know I usually loath karaoke!), and I loved it, I have loved every second of the last year of my life... but the past three weeks have been the best!
I know that even when something comes along and blows the wind out of my sail and makes me feel like an insecure 15 year old again, I have the strength and maturity to say to myself "for goodness sake woman, get a grip of yourself, is it THAT important?" I've finally grown up! I can speak about matters that are deep in my soul, that are painful to bring to the front of my consciousness, to even pitch a project idea about them, I can do this and not cry... I wanted to, but I didn't :)
Being there for new (and returning) students at UWN, trying to make them feel secure and safe in an unfamiliar environment was challenging; it really tested my patience at times, but sometimes it made me want to hug and kiss the nearest person to me. Overall, everything that I have witnessed, been involved in and experienced, whether it was talking to a new and insecure student for an hour on the phone or just pointing someone in the right direction has given me the greatest sense of achievement; I have met the most amazing, inspiring and charismatic individuals and many, many of them will be indelibly imprinted on my heart forever.
I know who I am now, I have grown, matured and gained a great sense of confidence and achievement. I like me, finally, at the age of 37, I'm proud of who I am... I can't wait for the future :)
