Mentors in Rome! Planning my Future, Respecting Dark Heritage!

Bethany, Zoey, Jodie and Me!

Ok, so the intention was that my fellow mentors Bethany and Jodie and I would do a Mentor vlog whilst we were out in Rome at the end of February/beginning of March... I should add here that this was with the BA (Hons) History group at UWN and not the Mentors (although I think it would be an amazing team building trip... hint hint Kerry!); however, although there is plenty of video footage, none of it is appropriate and mainly involves 'down time' revelry!
Not much opportunity for mentoring activities here, unless you consider mentoring to be trying to keep track of students that had a penchant for wandering off or not keeping up with the tutors (naming no names).

However, what Rome did do for me personally was to focus my attention on what I wanted my future degree/life path to include. We did all the usual sites which groaned under the weight of tourist footfall, and I really appreciated going to these places with two amazing tutors (Dr. Nick Carter and Professor Ray Howell) because I learned so much more than if I had just gone there as a tourist. What struck me most was our 'dark heritage' day; this truly moving day started with a journey to Via Rasella, to a place where Partisans had launched a surprise attack on a group of marching Nazis. Evidence of Nazi gun fire can still be seen today. 

Following this we went to the Historical Museum of Liberation; a location which, during the German occupation of Rome, had been the headquarters of 'the German terror apparatus'. This building included a prison in which political and Jewish prisoners were interrogated and tortured. It has been a museum since 1957.

If I thought this museum had made an ever-lasting impression upon my life, then I was in for a shock. What came next I will never (and I never want to) forget for the rest of my life!

Our group took a bus journey to Fosse Ardeatine Memorial. Here, a mass execution took place of 335 men on 24th March 1944, rounded up by the German occupation forces in retaliation to the Partisan attack in the previous day at Via Rassella. 

'195 of the 335 victims were prisoners of the security service, 55 were political prisoners from Italian prisons, 75 were selected for execution due to their Jewish background. 10 men had been randomly arrested on the street.

322 of those shot could later be identified. The oldest victim was 74, the youngest was 15 years old. They were of all social classes and pursued various professions. None of them had participated in preparing the Via Rasella bomb attack; only few of them were communists.'

Our group walked around in virtual silence, I felt the need to be on my own. 

The execution was carried out in a disused quarry which was subsequently blown up and sealed. After the discovery of the bodies, it was agreed that the men should remain buried there. A mausoleum containing the sarcophagi of each victim is present on site. 

I couldn't contain my sorrow (along with many of my group); there were several instances of male members of same family groups present, grandfathers, sons and grandsons, children as young as 15 and young men the same age as my son, 19.

This visit reinforced what was important to me in life... family, continuity, remembrance and education to name but a few. I have decided my path in life will include research into my grandmother-in-law's experience as a  Polish political prisoner of war. This will be the focus of my dissertation and hopefully additional subsequent post graduate research. I am fully aware that this blog post does not fully capture my experience on this day, whatever I write here will not be enough.

It's amazing that a trip which I initially considered to be a bit of a jolly, had enough effect to change my whole life.

*Images of Fosse Ardeatine are not my own and have been obtained from internet sources.

Adult Self Injury Awareness

At the end of February I attended a Self Harm Awareness Course run by two dynamic ladies, Katie and Nicki from Cardiff Adult Self-Injury Project (CASIP). A group which was conceived from the realisation that there were no services in the South Wales area to support people over the age of 18 who self-injure; the popular misconception being that self-harm only affects young adolescents. Attendees of the course mainly appeared to be made up of Student Mentors and various Student Services staff.

I had a personal interest in this course; twenty(ish) years ago I used to self-harm. It lasted for a few years after a couple of awful incidents and when I was feeling out of control with life around me. I needed something to focus on, and hurting myself was the easiest way of doing that. It was a physical manifestation of the pain I was feeling inside. I wanted someone to help me but I couldn't vocalise it. It happened again briefly when I suffered post-natal depression a few years later. I look now and my scars are barely visible (yes the do fade with time!), but when I think about it, I remember how I felt as that young woman the turmoil I was experiencing inside. Then I think about what I'm doing now, and I realise how strong I have become!

Katie and Nicki challenged preconceived ideas about people that self-harm. Many people think that it is a form of attention seeking. Nurses in Accident and Emergency (or even psychiatric) departments consider these individuals to be time wasters and treat the injury as a diagnosis rather than a reflection of the true distress that that person is suffering.
10% of those who self-harm will commit suicide within 10 years.*
We learnt that these individuals, if not dismissed were made to feel ten times worse by being labelled as time wasters, they are simply brushed off as having 'just a personality disorder'! Katie and Nicki informed us that self-harm as a specific psychiatric disorder was under negotiation to be made a category of its own, so that sufferers can receive appropriate treatment instead of being grouped together under the 'personality disorder' umbrella.

So what should one do when made aware of or approached by someone that self-harms? 
DO NOT:
-Panic and remove all sharp objects! This is an often unhelpful reaction of parents.
-Use emotional blackmail! For example, telling them how much they are hurting you by doing what they are doing.
-Accuse them of being attention seeking and brush them off.
DO:
-Consider unhelpful reactions they may have previously received.
-Acknowledge and validate the fact that they have chosen to communicate and TRUST you!
-Respect their choice if/whilst they continue to self-harm.
-Help them to recognise the root cause of their actions. This may involve helping them find an appropriate support group.
-Be honest with them if you feel out your depth and need to refer them to a professional.
-Allow the person to remain in control, ask them what help they want from you.
But most of all, listen!

I read the following somewhere once, I can't remember where though, but it's a motto I have continued to live by:

"I embrace every dreadful event that ever happened to me. They made me me!"

*Butler, J.; Longhitano, C., (2008). Self-Harm. Psychiatric Aspects of General Medicine. 36 (9), pp.455-458